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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28937133">The things we do for love (Yagami Light x Reader x Ryuk)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bodylanguage/pseuds/bodylanguage'>bodylanguage</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Death Note (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, One Shot, Romantic Fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:33:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,900</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28937133</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bodylanguage/pseuds/bodylanguage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You are Light’s secret girlfriend. When Misa finds out about it, she puts your name in her death note, but someone saves you.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Amane Misa/Ryuk/Yagami Light, Amane Misa/Yagami Light, Ryuk &amp; Yagami Light, Ryuk (Death Note) &amp; Original Male Character(s), Ryuk (Death Note)/Other(s), Ryuk (Death Note)/Reader, Ryuk/Yagami Light, Yagami Light &amp; Original Character(s), Yagami Light &amp; Other(s), Yagami Light &amp; Reader, Yagami Light &amp; You, Yagami Light/Original Female Character(s), Yagami Light/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>78</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The things we do for love (Yagami Light x Reader x Ryuk)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You sit on Light’s bed reading a set text. You breathe deeply and look around from time to time. You are not really interested in your book. However, you won’t quit reading it, you are one of the best students and you would never want to ruin your reputation. You need to do your homework. You look at your boyfriend who lies between your thighs and uses his death note. The view makes you smile.</p><p>You are the only person who knows that he’s Kira. No. You and Misa Amane, Light’s second girlfriend. And unfortunately, you are the secret one. You are not happy with being hidden. You want to go on dates with Light, to stop being so careful all the time and just act like a normal couple. But at the same time you understand his situation. Being his girlfriend was her only request… she could ruin everything he had been working on, she could ruin his life. Everyday you dream about Misa just disappearing from this world. In your fantasies you and Light graduate from college with wonderful results and just make the world better together. You touch his hair and feel how his cheeks moves. He smiles.</p><p>You are completely in love with Light. He’s the only one who understands you, the only one who makes you feel comfortable with yourself, with the person you really are. At first glance, you both are just perfect students, nice, funny, helpful, just lovely. No one knows the real you. Only you know (at least a part of) Light’s dark side, only Light knows your dark side. You are not sure if he really loves you… But as long as he lets you stay, you are happy.</p><p>You adore everything about him. Seeing him with another girl is one of the most hurtful things that have ever happened to you. However, you never show anything. The main goal is more important than your feelings. His safety is more important…</p><p>He closes the notebook and puts it on his desk. Then, he lies next to you and looks at your book through your shoulder. You smile at him and kiss his jawline, then touch his neck gently. You want to do more, but you don’t really feel comfortable while being watched by… Ryuk. He has been lying next to you and staring at you since the moment you sat down on the bed. Light doesn’t pay attention to him, he hardly ever does, but you just can’t. It’s probably because you kinda like Ryuk. His laugh and stupid jokes, that are usually not meant to be jokes, always make you feel better.</p><p>- I prefer spending time at your place - Light says, touching your cheek softly. You put your head on his shoulder and close your eyes for a moment, smelling his scent and enjoying the touch of his warm skin.</p><p>- My parents left today’s morning, so… maybe you will come tomorrow? You can even… stay for the night - you smile to him. Unfortunately, he doesn’t do the same. He looks at you, his cold gaze makes you feel confused, even a little bit scared.</p><p>- Tomorrow I’m seeing Misa - he sighs and you lose your enthusiasm. - And I wanted to ask you… Could you take the notebook and use it tomorrow? I will visit you the day after tomorrow and take it. And of course we will spend some nice time together.</p><p>- Sure, Light - you say and he finally smiles. - You know it’s not a problem - you add and kiss him again… and again and again. Your hands are around his neck and when you feel the touch of his fingers, you forget about everything and everyone else. - Why don’t we live in a place where is just you and me? Nobody else, so we could be free...</p><p>- One day we will be free, [Y/N] - he smiles and closes his eyes for a moment. His head is on your shoulder and you can feel his breath. You know he thinks about the future, you know he dreams about his perfect world.</p><p>You pack your stuff, hug your boyfriend for the last time and leave his house. Ryuk accompanies you. You are the only one that sees him, but he actually makes you feel safer. It’s always good to have someone by your side, even when no one else is able to notice them. You are almost home, but you decide to visit a shop first. You buy apples for the shinigami and then you both go home.</p><p>- You know you can talk to me? Even on the street? - you ask him. His silence seems to be weird to you. He hasn’t said a word since you left the house.</p><p>- Light doesn’t like talking to me on the street. It looks like he talks to himself.</p><p>- Yes, it does, but for example, I really often talk to myself. That’s okay, I don’t feel bad with it. As long as no one hears us, we can do it.</p><p>- You talk to yourself? - he asks you. He’s surprised and doesn’t really understand it very well. You are already at home. Ryuk sits on a couch and watches you unpacking your shopping bag.</p><p>- Sure. I am my best friend, so… we talk. It’s really important to talk to yourself and spend time with yourself. It lets you get to know yourself better and it’s good to know your biggest enemy - you laugh, knowing that in his opinion, your words don’t make any sense. - I am the only person that is able to beat me. Being fully aware of your weak points and knowing how to control and manipulate yourself make you indestructible. I also understand Light and that he doesn’t want people to see him talking to himself. He’s really in danger - you say sadly. - But I’m not - you add and make him laugh.</p><p>You sit down next to him and feed Ryuk with apples. He eats them all immediately. After that, you unpack your handbag. You hold Death Note and smile thinking about all those things you can do thanks to that.</p><p>- You should not use it - he says, really surprising you. You look at him, at his face, trying to read anything from it. But he almost always looks the same. His empty eyes don’t explain anything.</p><p>- Why? - you finally ask. - I thought you liked good entertainment, I thought you wanted people to use it. - He doesn’t want to answer. He’s ashamed of himself. He has seen shinigamis falling in love with people before… But it should never have happened to him.</p><p>- You’re like a dream girl. I think a dream girl should live in a dream world, not become a devil - he says and you laugh nicely. He looks at your happy eyes and white teeth and the corners of his mouth go up.</p><p>- Oh don’t say things like that or I will think you fell for me - you smile and stare at him for a moment. You wait for him to say something, but he decides to stay quiet. - Only love and death can change things. People who are able to love or kill should use their power and make the world better. That’s like a gift. But let’s stop talking about that. Do you want to watch some TV with me? Or we can play games…</p><p>- I always lose when I play with you - he says with his deadly, serious voice and you laugh again. You really like spending time with Ryuk. You love the way he unintentionally makes you smile.</p><p>- I will let you win this time - you say nicely and now he smiles. You spend the rest of the evening playing on your game console. You even fall asleep on the couch, holding a game-pad, with your head on his shoulder.</p><p>He knows Light doesn’t really love you. You give him everything and he only says “<em>Not enough</em>”. And then Ryuk looks at himself… But he’s not enough for you.</p><p>He can’t be sure if you really love Light. It looks like he uses you, but at the same time you have your own goal and every day you are closer to achieve it. He made you more comfortable with yourself, more confident, he made you feel that you are right. And he does the same things you want to do. So who uses who?</p><p>He stares at you while you sleep next to him. He’s surprised that you are actually smarter than Light. You understand more things than him, you are more colorful than him. It feels like he has no emotions, like he’s a cold stone who only pretends to feel anything human. He understands everything but feels nothing. When you… you can truly love and destroy anything you want at the same time, you feel but you can control yourself, you really experience things and that makes you more powerful. It makes you lovable. It’s weird to think that he, a shinigami, fell for a human. But he looks at you and can’t stop thinking that you are the most beautiful person he has ever seen. Always so sweet, so nice, laughing like a true God, telling jokes and buying him apples every time you are together. You make him want to be a human and he knows you will be the cause of his death.</p><p>***</p><p>You told Ryuk to stay at home when you were at college. Misa likes to meet Light in front of the entrance to the building. If she saw Ryuk with you, she would kill you without thinking. It would so obvious even Misa would know what happens. But he decided not to listen to you.</p><p>Being secret lovers is sometimes even fun. Innocent looks and smiles during lectures are able to really excite a person. But the accidental touches are truly the best. The tension between you two is indescribable. You give him papers and look at his smile, big, powerful, cunning smile. You have already mastered the skill of self-control, or you think that you mastered it. However, he makes it hard to do. You just want to be like other young girls who are in love. But at this time, it’s not possible.</p><p>The lecturers are finally over. You look at the picture of you and Light that you picked up from the photographer this morning and put it between pages of one of your book. Then you pack your stuff and leave the building.</p><p>Seeing Ryuk waiting for you is not a nice view. Of course you don’t show any emotions, you don’t scream (but you want to), you don’t look scared or anything like that. You just approach the tree he stands next to and talk to him quietly.</p><p>- What the hell are you doing here? I told you to stay at my place - you whisper but it’s possible to feel the anger in your voice. And then you see her… - Misa is here…</p><p>- Maybe she won’t see me - Ryuk says, hiding behind the tree. Unfortunately it’s a very thin tree. You can’t believe he’s serious. - To be honest, why are you with Light? - he whispers.</p><p>- Do you really want to talk about it now? - you are nervous. You don’t know what to do. You will start to walk and Ryuk will be more noticeable. But also standing there doesn’t seem to be a good idea as well. You look into his empty eyes and feel like you should answer his question. - Being with him has opened my eyes… It just feels like he’s my person. I don’t know… I just love him. But think about yourself. Misa certainly won’t see a big shinigami with enormous wings… I’m sure she has already seen me talking to you. Oh fuck… - you see them coming your way.</p><p>You pretend you check your phone. You know it won’t happen but you really hope they will go somewhere else, they will turn right in the last second. But then you hear Light’s voice.</p><p>- Hi [Y/N]! - you look up and fake a smile. You hide your device and try to act like Ryuk doesn’t stand next to you.</p><p>- Hi! I’m Misa! - you hear her loud voice and take a step back. - I’m Light’s girlfriend, but I think you already know about it! Light told me you were his good friend and you helped him doing… you know what - she laughs and you see how he kills her with a look. - Nice to meet you!</p><p>- The pleasure is all mine. Light told me a lot about you - you look at her cute smile and you have to admit that she’s adorable. You hate her even more. But this is not the time to express your reluctance. You even stand closer to her and you laugh together, enjoying the meeting.</p><p>Only you are aware of your real emotions. You act perfectly, your every smirk, your every look, every move, every sigh… you are so natural, you haven’t even been close to unmask yourself. Both Light and Ryuk are impressed. You were really the right choice. Your boyfriend looks at you and wants to see even more, he’s sure you won’t do anything wrong, so he would like to see more. There’s no love in it, he just wants satisfaction, he wants to tease you. He puts his arm around Misa and waits for your reaction. He’s pleased.</p><p>- I think I should go now - you stop laughing and decide that this is the right time to go home. Your short little conversation is enough. - Light often complains that you don’t see each other very often - you smile cunningly and look at her sparkly eyes, full of happiness. - I don’t want to bother you.</p><p>- Oh, drink a cup of coffee with us! It won’t last long! I would really like to get to know Light’s friends! Maybe we could be friends… - she says. She seems to be so excited and delighted. You look at Light and his mischievous smile. You swallow your saliva and want to say something, but he’s faster.</p><p>- Yeah, go with us [Y/N]. I would really like my girlfriend and my best friend to get to know each other better. Maybe you will become friends too - he encourages you to go with them. You already know what to say, but he has a thing to add. - C'mon, I know you don’t have plans, don’t even try to lie. - you can’t even imagine how funny the situation is to him. You look into his eyes and try to understand his action. But you just can’t.</p><p>You all go to the nearest cafe. Misa is between you and him, talking about her latest professional achievements. You ask her many questions, trying to make her think that you are really interested in her career. But you only can think about your boyfriend holding her hand, about her fingers on his arm… You are scared that soon you won’t be able to control your jealousy anymore. You are strong, you thought you had know the possibilities of your strength. You were so wrong. You hold your book, you are so angry you just want to tear it to shreds in front of them.</p><p>“<em>We are no able to get to know yourselves in 100%. Why did I think I was special? Why did I forget about that? Why was I so confident? I can’t do it.</em>”</p><p>And you really love Light. Even the thought of him being with other girls is so hurtful. You have never expected that the view of him with someone else would be so hard to handle. Doing your best, you just want to run away. You wish you had never met Misa. You see how he looks at her when she talks to him. Are all the things really fake? Maybe he lied to her, not to you. “<em>Why can’t I trust him?</em>”</p><p>“<em>I should have started to act dumb at the beginning, he wouldn’t be so amused now</em>” you think, not knowing what’s so funny. He annoys you more and more every second. You just want to fade away.</p><p>- Sad that Light doesn’t have my notebook with him, you would see Rem - Misa says, sitting next to her… your boyfriend. You look at them, pretending to be surprised.</p><p>- There are two notebooks? - you ask and watch her smile disappearing from her face. You feel the touch of Light’s leg under the table but you don’t react. You don’t even look at him. The situation is disgusting.</p><p>And when Misa kisses Light’s cheek, you are on the edge. You say short “<em>Excuse me</em>” and go to the ladies’ room. You leave your book on the table and only take your bag. You have failed. That’s not what you should feel. You can’t control yourself. You should not behave like that. But you can’t stop the tear from running down the cheek. Your own boyfriend… with another girl… laughing at your face. “<em>I’m not good enough</em>” you think, washing your hands. You feel like you are the worst, so you just want to go there and act like you are the best.</p><p>But when you go back, no one is there. Just your book… being opened. You come closer and see the picture of you and Light. “<em>Misa was curious and opened the book, she saw the photo.</em>” You failed. You grab your stuff and leave the place as fast as you can.</p><p>You spend long hours at your place, just sitting on the couch and analyzing every part of the meeting, over and over again. You are furious. That was your mistake. Your mistake. You did something wrong. “<em>She should not have opened it</em>”. “<em>But you should not have left it there</em>”. You can’t stand the pressure, you scream and pull your hair. His every look, her fingers on his skin, her little kiss on his cheek. What did you do to deserve that? Why were you so wrong? How could you think you knew yourself so well?</p><p>Then, you hear the doorbell. You really don’t want to open the door, but the voice in your head says “<em>Do it!</em>”. So you do it.</p><p>You see Light, standing in front of you with a big smile on his face. Without a word, he hugs you tightly. You don’t know what happened and why he is so happy. You can’t even hug him back. You just stand there, between his arms, not being able to move. But then, suddenly, he whispers to your ear:</p><p>- Misa is dead.</p><p>You both sit down on the couch. You grab his hand and try to understand the words he has just said. The smile doesn’t disappear from his face. He touches your shoulder and try to relax you. He doesn’t really know why you react like that. He has just told you some good news.</p><p>- What are you talking about? - you say finally.</p><p>- I will tell you the story - you hear a short laugh and then try to pay attention to his words. - Misa saw our picture. She decided to check out your book when I was talking to the waitress. She was furious. She made me go to my house with her, she was just walking and I wasn’t even able to stop her. You know what she wanted to do - he touches your cheek and makes you look into his eyes. - But Ryuk saved you. He killed her and doing that he killed himself. Then there was just me and Rem in the room. And a dead body. We had a conversation, you know she loved Misa, but you are safe - he kisses your head and waits for your answer. - She lets you live for Ryuk.</p><p>- Ryuk died? - you ask sadly and hear his laugh. You don’t understand.</p><p>- Does that make you sad? He was just a shinigami, he wasn’t your friend.</p><p>- Didn’t you like him?</p><p>- He was alright. Not very useful but spending time with him was… okay. But he was no one to me. And now? The most annoying person I have ever met is gone, my girlfriend is safe and we can just be together. Just be, the way you always wanted. You should be happy.</p><p>- It’s my fault. That stupid book…</p><p>- You were perfect. Misa should not have touched things that were not hers. Her behavior was unprofessional. And you? My girl… I put you in the worst situation… and you were amazing.</p><p>- Was that funny to you? - you ask wanting to cry. You have never been so weak in front of him. You failed. And he’s here complimenting you?</p><p>- Now I know you are the one. Now I know I can rely on you and your acting skills. I saw the way… You controlled yourself so well, that was amazing. I would really believe you. I was observing your every move. Yeah Misa would never see anything, but you would fool even me. The things that Misa did are out of good behavior, you weren’t able to predict that. And look. The results are great. You made such a dumb shinigami as Ryuk fall for you… You are more powerful that you think. We can do everything together.</p><p>He touches your head and makes you put it on his laps. You look at his smile, you look at his facial expression. And you see how satisfied he is, how happy and content he is. You think about that situation, all the things he said run through your head. And then you smirk. It’s getting bigger and bigger. You end up laughing together. He knows everything is alright. He holds your face and kiss you passionately. You had your sad moment. “<em>She’s just like me</em>” he thinks, sucking your lip.</p><p>You are not exactly like him. But you are similar. And you decide not to show how sad Ryuk’s dead made you feel. “<em>He loved me?</em>” you can’t believe. But there’s a part of him in you. The way Misa’s death makes you feel… How better you feel. Poor Ryuk, he had to watch you and Light the way you had to watch Misa and Light. Poor Ryuk, treating you always so well, always trying to make you feel better, being next to you… Light kisses your neck and collarbones when you touch his hair.</p><p>- So now… just you and me? - you ask him, looking into his eyes.</p><p>- Just you and me. Soon we will be free. Soon we will live in our dream word.</p><p>He doesn’t just act like a cold person. He is a cold person. You know he wasn’t scared even for a second. You know your death wouldn’t make him sad. But now he’s happy. He’s happy with you. And you realize you are not as smart as him. You’re a fool.</p><p>“<em>Oh Ryuk, why am I with him? You wanted to tell me something more, you knew… I was your dream girl and you had to watch me being with him. You knew Light didn’t love me. You were the only person that had ever loved me. You died for me… And I didn’t realize that, I thought it was a joke. And I thought I was smart… You died and now no one loves me. Oh Ryuk, why are you not the one that sits next to me right now?</em>”</p>
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